She doesnt listen and doesnt seem to understand my point: that Id just like to be clued in and listened to as well. My hope for you is that if you get effective help to resolve your old trauma you will be able to stay in the ring with your wife, without your old triggers leading you to shut down. The other partner may want to understand they are not the problem; it is just that their partner is dealing with emotional withdrawal. We have a six month old son. Its an outrage. I completely shut down when I am feeling attacked or belittled by my wife. How to Communicate With a Partner Who is Upset (This one can really help your withdrawn partner understand YOU, and what happens to you emotionally when they refuse to talk or engage with you). Good luck, LMB. He hates being out the army and hates civilian life. We can be having a tough and honest conversation about the challenges in our marriage but when she makes generalizations about my behavior or accuses me of things that are not true then I am done with talking. Focus on positive ways to solve problems, learn to communicate openly, and take a break to clear your head at critical points. Hes probably been doing it his whole life since this behavior is usually caused by upbringing. Sign up for our newsletter to keep reading. I am glad that you are finding ways to de-escalate the situation by taking breaks. (Because you did not have the chance to develop healthy self-esteem). The sooner you realize that you didnt cause him to act this way, the easier will be for both of you to move on from there and focus on the solution. Instead of pressuring him to hash it out right now, you can easily postpone it until he feels ready. Im a police officer too and know what PTSD is. Emotional exhaustion can be challenging to navigate, but some small lifestyle changes, including developing healthy coping techniques, can help. Find them! He at least seems to be sexually attracted to me, so thats nice. The fact that you understand that your shutting down is related to early childhood trauma is also extraordinary. Experience is the only way to learn. Thank you for your time, have a nice day. So for the sake of saving the relationship, he chooses to rather keep his mouth shut. Do you feel yourself not caring when your partner pulls away? Torch Electronics and Warrenton Oil have donated to committees that have made campaign contributions to a PAC backing Andrew Bailey. It may be difficult for others to come towards you, and maintain soft, caring feelings about you, or fully appreciate your needs when youre yelling at them.

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